In my 57 years, I've decluttered more times than I can remember. But without meaning
to, I kept the the hoarding patterns learned from my Mom and Dad. So, the cluttering
always crept back. This blog is not just about decluttering, although I'm working on
that, as part of this experience.
My parents were children of the Great Depression, and that had major after-effects all their lives. They saved masses of things, "because we might need it some day." Sound familiar? I bet that will ring a bell with quite a lot of you. And yet, as the masses piled up, fell over, got hopelessly mixed together in the backyard shed, or collected in rusting coffee cans in the basement, did my Dad ever question whether he could find any of these things, if "Some Day" ever came? If he did, it was not in my hearing.
My Mom did question, after fighting her way through clearing out Dad's build-up in
basement and shed, after his death. And to her credit, she then set out to reduce her own
collections, so it would be easier for her daughters and son to settle her affairs, at her
own passing. We very much appreciated her efforts, when the time came to do that.
Yet while this was going on, I had carried the collecting habit into my adulthood, myself. I had, and am still wrestling with, an accumulation of belongings and unsorted papers that I felt embarrassed about, yet felt overwhelmed when I tried to sort. I would make a little progress, then hit a sticking point, and creep away in despair. I hid the accumulation in storage and spare rooms, but made little progress lowering the levels, even when faced with moving to a new place to live. I'd get overwhelmed, pitch it all into boxes, and haul all the weight of it to the next place, hoping halfheartedly to do better "Some Day."
But there is no magical Some Day, when everything becomes easy to manage. There is only Today. Right now.
So this is about how I've begun taking each Today, and making changes, to make my life more workable.
This blog is about attitude changes, that are allowing me to rethink, and release objects that I've unquestioningly carried around for quite literally decades.
I used to think, "I must save this. Dad assumed I'll need it." Then I realized, that's not the point.
What matters is: do I, personally, use this thing, right now? Not, did I once use it, years
ago, but right now, in the present time.
So I now have changed to asking myself:
For instance, about a box of nails, given to me by my Dad.
1) How long have I had this?
Answer - decades. I moved it from place to place, many, many times.
2) How often have I used this?
Answer - rarely
3) Could I find it when I did need it?
Answer - usually not
4) What kind of shape is it in?
Answer - nails have begun rusting, and I am unlikely to use them
5) Can I toss this now?
Answer - yes
Obstacles to progress - I feel guilty that I did not use the nails before they began rusting.
And at that point, I have to say to me, "Self, I forgive you for that. Let it go now."
I feel the weight of the box in my hand. I've carried this weight more years than I want to
admit. It became a burden. But now, I say to myself, as I take it to the trash, "This is the
last time you even have to move this, except for putting it out on the curb, to get hauled
away."
And that feels good. That feels freeing.
And if I need a few nails, next week? They're not expensive. I'll go to the hardware store,
buy the exact size I need, and use them. I will not spend hours looking for the box and
then sorting through it to see if by chance, there are any the right size that aren't rusty.
(The answer to that was already no.) Overall, doing that will take a lot less time.
I am going to let go like that *more*, now! Yes!
I'm also going to talk about the feelings that go along with doing this. I hope it may help
others who are working on the same issues.
to, I kept the the hoarding patterns learned from my Mom and Dad. So, the cluttering
always crept back. This blog is not just about decluttering, although I'm working on
that, as part of this experience.
My parents were children of the Great Depression, and that had major after-effects all their lives. They saved masses of things, "because we might need it some day." Sound familiar? I bet that will ring a bell with quite a lot of you. And yet, as the masses piled up, fell over, got hopelessly mixed together in the backyard shed, or collected in rusting coffee cans in the basement, did my Dad ever question whether he could find any of these things, if "Some Day" ever came? If he did, it was not in my hearing.
My Mom did question, after fighting her way through clearing out Dad's build-up in
basement and shed, after his death. And to her credit, she then set out to reduce her own
collections, so it would be easier for her daughters and son to settle her affairs, at her
own passing. We very much appreciated her efforts, when the time came to do that.
Yet while this was going on, I had carried the collecting habit into my adulthood, myself. I had, and am still wrestling with, an accumulation of belongings and unsorted papers that I felt embarrassed about, yet felt overwhelmed when I tried to sort. I would make a little progress, then hit a sticking point, and creep away in despair. I hid the accumulation in storage and spare rooms, but made little progress lowering the levels, even when faced with moving to a new place to live. I'd get overwhelmed, pitch it all into boxes, and haul all the weight of it to the next place, hoping halfheartedly to do better "Some Day."
But there is no magical Some Day, when everything becomes easy to manage. There is only Today. Right now.
So this is about how I've begun taking each Today, and making changes, to make my life more workable.
This blog is about attitude changes, that are allowing me to rethink, and release objects that I've unquestioningly carried around for quite literally decades.
I used to think, "I must save this. Dad assumed I'll need it." Then I realized, that's not the point.
What matters is: do I, personally, use this thing, right now? Not, did I once use it, years
ago, but right now, in the present time.
So I now have changed to asking myself:
For instance, about a box of nails, given to me by my Dad.
1) How long have I had this?
Answer - decades. I moved it from place to place, many, many times.
2) How often have I used this?
Answer - rarely
3) Could I find it when I did need it?
Answer - usually not
4) What kind of shape is it in?
Answer - nails have begun rusting, and I am unlikely to use them
5) Can I toss this now?
Answer - yes
Obstacles to progress - I feel guilty that I did not use the nails before they began rusting.
And at that point, I have to say to me, "Self, I forgive you for that. Let it go now."
I feel the weight of the box in my hand. I've carried this weight more years than I want to
admit. It became a burden. But now, I say to myself, as I take it to the trash, "This is the
last time you even have to move this, except for putting it out on the curb, to get hauled
away."
And that feels good. That feels freeing.
And if I need a few nails, next week? They're not expensive. I'll go to the hardware store,
buy the exact size I need, and use them. I will not spend hours looking for the box and
then sorting through it to see if by chance, there are any the right size that aren't rusty.
(The answer to that was already no.) Overall, doing that will take a lot less time.
I am going to let go like that *more*, now! Yes!
I'm also going to talk about the feelings that go along with doing this. I hope it may help
others who are working on the same issues.
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